The women who gave birth to us, who raised us, who stepped up as moms. Those women who had our backs and who kicked our butts when we needed it. The women who were there to play with us, to cry with us, to give advice, to discipline, to hug, to be our strength. Women who gave up thing for you and gave in to you.
Now it’s your wedding. You have your idea and plans and dreams of how you want your day to be. You know who you want in attendance on your day. You want her advice and yet at the same time you want to be able to tell her “no”. But how do you do that?
There is a “open letter to Mom” posted by CHERYL FENTON that may be of some help to you. It’s a gentle way to let mom know your feelings.
Here is a copy of that letter:
An Open Letter to Mother-of-the-BridesAddressing those awkward moments with Mom while wedding planning. by CHERYL FENTON·
I’m about to walk down the aisle toward the man I love. On that special day, I wish for several things: a corset that won’t quit, a photographer that makes me look like a supermodel, a wedding planner faster than a speeding bullet, and a cake as sweet as my groom (but not as rough around the edges).
Having you there to help me celebrate means the world to me, Mom. But I know the path to planning isn’t always a smooth one. I wanted to write you this note first, telling you a little about how I feel and how we can work together. I want us both to enjoy this special time.
- Offer me advice, but don’t be mad if I go my own way. Yes, I know you like the florist your friend’s daughter used. Yes, I know you just pinned a cake photo from that baker that won Best of last year. I welcome your ideas, and I will listen to them. It doesn’t mean I will use them. What I want to know is that you’ll be there for me if I need help. On the other hand, if there’s a place you really want to contribute—maybe your baker really is the best in town—let me know. I want this to be a great day for us both.
- I love how you look in that beaded Armani Privé. But my big day isn’t the place to wear it. Please follow the style we’ve chosen for our wedding. I promise to keep you in the loop of my gown choice and wedding colors, if you promise not to go all rogue on me. Also, please talk to his mom. Find out what she’s wearing. Maybe it’ll be a nice opportunity to get to know each other over coffee and salads.
- We don’t want our wedding to be a giant LinkedIn tweet-up, so please understand when we ask you not to invite your clients and business folks. You might envision a gigantic reception full of everyone you know, but we want to keep this intimate. Definitely speak up if there’s any star-worthy guests who must be invited, but otherwise please respect our wishes in terms of how big we let our celebration get.
- This is my dream day, but you might have a few dreams of your own. Let me know if there’s anything you want me to include in our wedding. Maybe you want me to pin a piece of grandma’s wedding lace inside my gown. Or perhaps you want your favorite flower in my bouquet or a certain “thank you” in the program. You’re important to me, so I want to know what’s important to you—the things that really matter, not just the nit-picky details.
Just as you set me straight when I caused a scene at my cousin’s party after not getting the candied rose off her cake, I also want you to speak up if I’m being a Bridezilla.
I’m still your little girl. We might get in each other’s hair during this exciting and crazy time, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you. The End.
Your Daughter, the Bride
Just remember that your Mom just want the very best for you. She wants to show off her angel and let the entire world know how proud she is of you.
Be patient. Be honest. And above all, just be thankful you have that MomLet’s Talk