10 Tips For what NOT to do right after you get engaged.

Readings for newly engaged couples

OMG, Congratulations! It’s beautiful! The excitement and the thrill of having that new status! You have laughed and cried, you’ve hugged everyone and you’re on the mountain top! You’re ready to tell the world about it. Can’t wait to dive in head first and get planning. Hold on a minute….and hit the brakes!

Here are a few tips to help you through those first few weeks of this exciting time!

  1. DO NOT announce over social media before telling those closest to you. I know this is 2019 and everything is posted to Face Book, Instagram, Twitter and all the other social media sites as soon as it happens. Especially when it is as exciting as getting engaged! Try to hold off on that, at least until you have told your parents and close family and friends! Nothing is worse than having those closest to you finding out from others that have seen it on social media.

2. DO NOT start asking people to be in your wedding party. Say What?? Don’t ask them? Ok, let me rephrase that. Don’t ask them yet. Even if you know that you BFF is going to be in your wedding party, just hold off for a bit. Depending on the length of your engagement, location of the wedding and budget (as well as other factors), things my change. Friends can lose touch and relationships can change. It’s better to sit down and figure some things out first before asking anyone to avoid hurt feelings later.

3. DO NOT start a guest list. You will have people asking you for all the details. Have you set a date? Where is it? Am I invited?  Let them know that you are just enjoying the thrill of being engaged and that you have not started to plan anything yet. Sit down with your partner and figure things out first before committing to a guest list.

4. DO NOT accept every suggestion (and DO set expectations from the start). “I know of the best photographer.” “Don’t go buy a wedding cake, I’ll make it for you.” “Why rent a venue? You can have it in the back yard.”  People are just excited and want to help. They do not mean to plan your wedding (at least most people), they are just giving you some “hard” suggestions.  Learn early on to listen to what they have to say; there will be some hidden gems that you may want to use. Have a prepared response to all those well-meaning folks; “Wow I hadn’t thought about that. I’ll keep it in mind.” “We really haven’t booked anything yet. Thanks for the suggestion.”  Never commit to anything till you and your fiancé have sat down together and figured it out.

5. DO NOT start planning. “But we have to get things booked.” “The best venues, photographers, etc. are always booked up.” Hold on there…Slow down! Yes, it’s true that you do have to get your main vendors/venues booked in advance; and you will. First, you need to figure out some major things with your future spouse. Things like: what time of year you want to get married, where you want to get married, how big of a wedding, budget (who is going to pay for what). Get that stuff done before getting all focused-on booking places/people. most importantly: JUST ENJOY BEING ENGAGED FOR THE MOMENT!


6. DO NOT buy your dress. You may have already started looking at dresses, even before you got that beautiful ring. AND you may have the “dream” dress all picked out. DON’T BUY IT YET. Here’s the reason. You NEED to know where and when you wedding is taking place. There will be nothing worse than having a long-sleeved gown in the middle of a hot summer or a destination wedding. By all means LOOK and DREAM. Your “dress” is out there!

7. DO NOT focus on yourself. I know it has ALWAYS been said that the wedding is ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE, it’s “HER” day.  It is a day most girls dream about in their entire lives, BUT it really ISN’T just about you. If it wasn’t for your fiancé asking that all important question, you would not be a bride. REMEMBER this wonderful exciting time is about BOTH of you. Ask him about his ideas and wishes. This is just as much his day as it is your day!

8. DON’T stress. You have time to get everything planned and organized. Don’t think that you have to get everything done right now. Take it one step at a time. Get a timeline in place. Find yourself a planner. Right now, at this moment, just be in the moment…just relax and be with your fiancé.

9. Do NOT forget to plan that engagement party. Have that party. Announce it to everyone that doesn’t already know. Spend time your family and friends celebrating your wonderful news.

10. DO NOT forget your “Thank-Yous”. Thank those who congratulate you both. If there are gifts given, take note of who and what was given and be sure to send a thank you card. Appreciate all that is done and given to you. And REMEMBER to thank your partner…they love you for who are.

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